HA (cont)

UPDATE: It has been 36  hours since my beautiful decision to remove the parasitic influence of social media from my life. I am happy to say that thus far I have not faltered once. I quit cold turkey, and I am staying that way. At least until the new year.

I believe I left off talking about my first experiences with Facebook. Facebook was amazing. When I was in middle school and I had sleepovers with my friends, we would gossip and confide in each other about which boy we “liked” and poured over the previous year’s yearbook and pick apart all recent interactions we had with these boys and speculate over whether they “liked” us too. Occasionally, one girl would have inside information that she “swore” not to tell anyone, and we would spend the majority of the evening trying to pry this third or fourth hand information out of her, only to have her reveal it in the early hours of the morning, causing great elation or major devastation. This was our bread and butter. This gave my meager middle school existence purpose.

Facebook took this to the next level. Suddenly, there was an online log of his interactions with EVERYONE: me, his friends, that super cute girl that he seemed to be friends with in English class but she allegedly has a boyfriend. We spent hours analyzing his page, deciding if we had a chance or not. And GOD FORBID he became “Facebook official” with another girl. We would look through every one of her pictures and talk about how she wasn’t as good as us, although wondering deep down how she photographed so well all the time, and how we could get our eyeliner to look like that.

To be continued…


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