I feel like I’m starting to lose my grip on reality again, so I’m going to start writing/blogging again. Again, the goal is to find some inner truth, happiness, and general peace of mind. Here is what I am currently struggling with:
1. I am still in love with my best friend. I got a taste of what being with him would be like, and just as quickly as it came, it went away, and any hope I had is extinguished. He is the one that I come to with my disasters, but this time, he IS my disaster.
2. My roommate is driving me crazy. For two reasons actually. A) She is dating my ex boyfriend and having an effective relationship with him, and it is driving me crazy. I can’t figure out if it’s because she’s happy and I’m not, or because HE’S happy and I’m not, or because THEY’RE happy together. B) She is so anal about cleaning, yet she is INCREDIBLY unorganized. I could almost accept her cleanliness if she put things in the same place every time. But she doesn’t! After she cleans, I can’t find anything! UGH!
3. I am seriously questioning my career path. I feel like the theatre is drawing me in again, and I feel more fulfilled doing things in the theatre than doing things in my field, and it’s freaking me out.
4. I am having a lot of issues controlling my emotions. Specifically my anger. I hate being controlled by anyone or anything, and I feel like I lose the ability to think logically or let go of anything. It’s driving me crazy.
Anyway, the goal is to blog when I’m feeling hopeless, or depressed, or angry, or any intense emotion really, so that I can get to the bottom of this. I only get one life and I’ve got to do this.